Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
