Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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