i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
