are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
