Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Randomize
