I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
