So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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