how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize