if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
