I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
