I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize