I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You can't just leave with hair like that
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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