1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
