Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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