this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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