You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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