This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
