I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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