I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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