She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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