by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
