I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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