I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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