I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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