What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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