tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
