Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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