so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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