I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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