At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
