How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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