he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize