If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
