Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
love makes seman taste better
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
