Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
