hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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