theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
