i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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