You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
