did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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