the new term for farting is butt boxing.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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