Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
