How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
