I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
