i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize