So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
