Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
