i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
