yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Small penises have feelings too.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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