champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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