I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
