He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize