are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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