Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
