My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
