I think I won the penis lottery.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
My dick has a subreddit
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
