There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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