Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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