god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize