And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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