I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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