So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
